Free will and determinism

I've realized that if I'm going through a particularly tough time or something bad has happened to me, everyone around me usually says the same thing: "Don't worry, Becca. Remember that everything happens for a reason, and good will come out of this." The thought is definitely comforting. It allows me to feel like I wasn't really responsible for my actions, whatever they caused. And it allows me to move forward. But is that the case? Does everything really happen for a reason? Because I feel like most of the time, we're pretty fickle: when things are going well, we like to think that it's because of our own good decisions and that we're totally in control of our lives. But when things are going badly, we like to push off the blame onto something else entirely – not even another person, but something unseen – God, the Fates, whomever may be controlling us. Tonight’s reading concerned determinism and free will, and it was really hard for me to make up my mind between the two. For me personally, it was too frightening to think that everything I do is chosen by me, and only me, and that there was no determinism involved. I would love to think that I’m controlled by a good combination of both, just for comfort’s sake. I embrace the idea that I can control my future – that nothing is pre-determined, or that if it is, it works out in my favor. But like I said, when things don’t go the way I planned, I need the reassurance that a higher being is controlling my future and can help get me back on track. But what’s the answer? Can free will and determinism coexist? For me, it has to. And maybe my personal belief is considered the easy way out; that my life has been, up to a certain point, predetermined to be the best life for me and the life that I was meant to live, but it’s up to me to learn the necessary skills and do the right things to make it that life. I’d like to believe that by trying to do the right things, I’ll come to realize my ‘predetermined’ life goal through a series of my own choices. And when my own choices somehow get me off of my predetermined track, something that was supposed to happen “for a reason,” I’ll learn from it and pick back up and continue doing the right things again. I consider getting off track as a way to learn important concepts in order to continue on living a meaningful existence.

            I think it’s really important for each person to establish their own way of living, whether or not it makes sense to others or not. I know that my outlook is contradictory, but it’s in accordance to my previous life experiences. I feel strongly that we all have good predetermined lives, but it’s left up to us to make sure that that happens, and that’s where some fall short. So if we use that free will to the best of our knowledge, we’ll be able to get by just fine.